As I was listening to Pink's new single it struck a cord with me. Today is a rough day for really no other reason other than I thought I was pregnant and the reality is I am not. For once, I really don't want to go into details because I just feel over this whole process. Even with all the good things that are going on in my life and I am truly excited about, I still feel "less than perfect." In the song, Pink asks the listener to not feel less than perfect. We beat ourselves up for so many reasons as women...the way we think we should look, how we should act, or what we should be able to do. I have struggled with all three of these areas at some point in my life. I am still a work in progress. I just struggle with the fact that something so natural and easy that I should be able to do I cannot at this point. It makes me feel less than perfect.
Things with my book are going well and I have been given great opportunities to work with kids in classrooms all over San Diego. I have a book signing this weekend. I am going to New York City next week with my husband and friends. While I am there we are also going to this big book/media convention and I am thrilled about the opportunities and people I get to meet. I am going to a breakfast session with Julianne Moore and get to meet her and get her book autographed. On the other hand, my husband and I are starting another business venture together that we are so excited about and also get to do some more traveling. We are really a bonded team right now and closer then ever, even with all of the stresses of a new business and this infertility stuff. I share all this to say one thing. I am blessed way beyond what I should be right now. I am at a point in just about every area of my life where I am content and perfectly happy. Yet I still feel less than perfect. I still wake up some mornings and feel like a huge failure. It sucks. Today is one of those days. So there it is. I am flawed. I need more in my life. I will not feel at peace until I have a child. I always want more and am not satisfied. I am a work in progress.
