On this Valentine's Day when card companies and florists are making a fortune, I want to share my story of true love. I promise not to be too sappy, but I have to give gratitude to my true love, my husband. I have to share a tale of when I really knew I loved him. Now you may be thinking this is sweet and all but how does this relate to fertility issues? Well, stick with me and you will see.
Andy and I met almost exactly seven years ago at a Superbowl party hosted by a mutual friend. I wish I could say it was love at first sight and we have been inseparable ever since...close but not quite. You see, at this party he was drug there by another friend and did not want to come and I was there with my current boyfriend. I actually talked to one of my roommates that night about dating him because he seemed nice but a little quiet. To make a long story short, I broke up with the other guy, Andy started hanging out with our group of friends and yes from there it did move kind of fast! We all hung out for a few months together, but one night Andy asked me out on a date aside from the rest of the group. It was new and different to not have everyone else around and be in a big group, but we thought we liked it that way and so we decided to date exclusively that night. A week later he told me he loved me, a month later he asked my dad if he could marry me, two months later we were engaged and roughly eleven months after our first "official" date we were married.
Yes, I was in love with him then and of course we when said our vows in front of our family and friends in the middle of Balboa Park in San Diego. But I later realized that is not when I truly knew I loved him. Of course there have been moments and glimpses of true love in romantic gestures and kind words and in all of the heartfelt cards and letters he has written me the last 6 1/2 years...and I thought I loved him then. I realized October 1, 2009 I was truly in love with this man. I realized true love when it stared me smack dab in the face in the middle of an emergency room during my miscarriage. I had gone to urgent care that afternoon when I realized it had started and I had lost a lot of blood and was really light headed. I was fighting passing out at home and Andy took me to urgent care which then called an ambulance to take me to the nearest hospital. I had never been so frightened and calm all at the same time. I had a peace because I knew Andy was there taking care of me and with me through this ordeal. They were speculating whether or not to give me a blood transfusion and started me on an IV drip. I was scared and grieving, but Andy was my strength, my rock. He calmed me and made me feel safe. It was in the middle of the room with just the hospital curtains drawn around my bed I was hooked up to an IV, a pulse monitor and had other cords wrapped around my arms. I was still miscarrying and they would not let me go to the restroom because I might have passed out so I had the humiliation of relieving everything in a stool/potty contraption next to the bed. I was so embarrassed and did not want Andy to see or hear any of that and I just kept apologizing to him. Do you know what he did? He just kept helping me onto the potty/stool and held up all of my tangled wires and IV and my hospital gown while I got rid of what was coming. He stood there and kept telling me it was all going to be okay and gave me that look of calmness he always has. That was the defining moment that I realized I was in love.
The following verse from The Message was read at our wedding in 2005 and I still love it today. I love it because I have witnessed it. I love it because I have experienced it. I love it because I see glimpses of this kind of love in Andy and the way he treats me. I love it because I feel God's love for me in the way Andy loves me. I am truly blessed. I leave you with this verse and the hope that you experience this kind of love in your life. Happy Valentine's Day!
1 Corinthians 13: 3-7 from The Message
Love never gives up.
Love cares more for others than for self.
Love doesn't want what it doesn't have.
Love doesn't strut,
Doesn't have a swelled head,
Doesn't force itself on others,
Isn't always "me first,"
Doesn't fly off the handle,
Doesn't keep score of the sins of others,
Doesn't revel when others grovel,
Takes pleasure in the flowering of truth,
Puts up with anything,
Trusts God always,
Always looks for the best,
Never looks back,
But keeps going to the end.